All humans feel the emotion of anger from time to time. Though not easy, it is possible to keep one’s temper instead of losing it, only to regret it later.

Many years ago a senior executive of the then Standard Oil Company, run by John D. Rockefeller, made a wrong decision that cost the company more than $2 million. On the day the news leaked out Edward T. Bedford, a partner in the company, had an appointment with Rockefeller. When he entered the office, prepared to listen to a long harangue against the man who made the error in judgment, Bedford found the head of the company busily writing something on a pad of paper. He stood silently, not wishing to interrupt. After a few minutes Rockefeller looked up. ‘Oh, it’s you, Bedford,’ he said calmly. ‘I suppose you’ve heard about our loss?’ Bedford said that he had. ‘I’ve been thinking it over,’ Rockefeller said, ‘and before I ask the man in to discuss the matter, I’ve been making some notes.’

The notes had a long list of the executive’s virtues, including a brief description of how he had helped the company to make the right decision on three separate occasions that had earned many times the cost of his recent error.

‘I never forgot that lesson. In later years, whenever I was tempted to rip into anyone, I forced myself first to sit down and thoughtfully compile as long a list of good points as I possibly could. Invariably, by the time I finished my inventory, I would see the matter in its true perspective and keep my temper under control. There is no telling how many times this habit has prevented me from committing one of the costliest mistakes any executive can make - losing his temper,’ said Bedford.

Similarly, Abraham Lincoln’s secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, was once angered by an army officer, who accused him of favoritism. Stanton complained to Lincoln, who suggested that Stanton write the officer a sharp letter. Stanton did, and showed the strongly worded missive to the president. ‘What are you going to do with it?’ Lincoln inquired. Surprised, Stanton replied, ‘Send it.’ Lincoln shook his head. ‘You don’t want to send that letter,’ he said. ‘Put it in the stove. That’s what I do when I have written a letter while I am angry. It’s a good letter and you had a good time writing it and feel better. Now burn it, and write another.’

The key to keeping one’s temper is to let the temper cool down before it descends on someone.